Physics Geek
June 30, 2009I made a blog exposing my geekness. Visit Physics Geek. Maybe, just maybe it can help.
Ciao
scRibBle III
June 27, 2009May 1, 2009:
Its a funny thing, love, how it makes our heart beats thrice as fast as the normal, how it makes our eyes twinkles like stars in the clearest of the night. How love makes us wonder how we were able to live our past lives without our loved ones in out sides then? Loves, boundless as the horizon, love beyond human understanding crawls in our spine and make us shiver when thinking of its absence.
I was broken hearted this time. Ok, ok. I am always broken. Gee. Drop that ok?
Ciao
scRibBle II
August 24, 2008
In life we cannot escape the reality that some people whom we considered friends has this so called bounded trust. What is this bounded trust? Before truly defining what this kind of trust is, i just would like to elaborate some aspect in which trust is involved. When we realized we had a crush with some cute guys or gals we prefer sharing them to our friends rather than to our family right. Then we started to mingle out more with them, spending less time with our immediate family. Even to the point that we slept over just to be with our friends sharing the more “significant secrets” of our little innocent emotions. Then when we grow up, we begin to be more attached to our friends, lean on there shoulders on your first break up. Drank your first beers. Friends, how we treasure them the most. They are the wind beneath our little and fragile wings. A bit of exaggeration here. Returning to this bounded trust, this kind of trust is your friends trust directed to you. It’s like having doubts on your capacity even if you’re 200% sure.
This was one of my experiences that made me doubt his friendship. He was shouting to the world my incapacities through his eyes. I was 1000% freaking sure I was right, my teacher even confirmed it yet he stares at me like I’m a total idiot. What a jerk.
=) Ciao
scRibbLe I
I did this last August 23, 2008, just wanna share it.
August 23, 2008 – The day we reminisce the 3rd anniversary of the death of my mother. This is also the day I have received the Laptop that manoy bought for me. I don’t know if I should be thrilled or be afraid of the compromise that I grabbed. Compromises, like making my manoy be the co-maker or guarantor of my scholarship. I fear that I might not be able to do what I should do. I still fear that what if I failed a subject? What should I do? What should be done?
Just some thoughts I had.
=) Ciao
emPtiNess, my mortal enEmy
Anybody would say I’m a free spirit, happy and joyful. I am. I laugh a lot, I hang-out with people, and I have plenty of friends. I can afford to buy more than the basic necessities of life. I have savings. I can eat in fancy restaurants. I have good grades. I may have a clean shot for jobs. I am happy. I am well defined. I have family that loves me and cares for me. I have friends who never turn their backs on me. I have so much that many people envy me. I never worry on where I will get my next meal. I never worry when I get short with my finances because I know so many people will back me up.
I have everything I need. Although not that rich to travel the world or even just places here in Mindanao but still I can say I have the things that some people don’t have. I get to enjoy friend’s company.
So what’s the deal? Why am I writing this? Now I admit, despite everything I have, I feel lonely, unloved and sad. I know I can’t surround myself with people 24/7. There is always a time where I sit alone and then feel all happiness draining. I feel that the world has turned its back on me. I feel so alone that fear grows in my heart. I feel so sad that I don’t notice the tears rolling down my cheek. I try to find answers yet it’s like it doesn’t want to be found. I’ve been looking for the right term so long that it took me forever to discover that I have in me emptiness that can never be filled by anyone. I keep denying that someone will feel me yet again it never works. I feel loneliness imprisoning m in the depths that no one notices.
Now that I have a close encounter with this fact, now that I get to see this face to face, it haunts me every second of my existence. Now, even within a crowd this emptiness sucks me like a hole that no matter how I tried to reach out no one can hear me and no dare to listen.
Should I learn to live with this emptiness or should I try to look for the thing that may fill me if ever it exists?
I’m lost. No matter how painful it is. I admit.
Ciao
a swEet amBitiOn
June 21, 2009I always wanted to study either law or medicine. Since my family is not that well off and I’m kinda doubting myself if I can really make it. So instead of proceeding to medicine or law after my bachelor’s degree in physics I decided to enroll as a graduate student majoring in Physics.
Since sometimes, no matter how things work with your current condtion, out from thin air the things you wanted would immersed. I decided to start studying alone in the fields that i secretly wanted. But then, its hard to deal with two very broad and difficult field so I decided to choose one.
For medicine, yes I love the thought of operating and then dealing with sickness and the thought of curing of course but, I just can’t imagine handling corpses. Cadavers, thats what they call it right? I can handle extreme wounds and even those instestine splattered over the floor. But then I have to deal with cadavers during the duration of the study right? That’s a big no, no. Maybe because I’ve watched too much horror movies. Hehehe.
For Law, debating has always been my passion. I love talking bout politics and everything that deals with the constitution and laws. I wanna be aware of rights and things that are helpful to people.
So I know you can tell what I chose.
Started reading philippine constitution.
Hope I wont stumble hard along the way.
Ciao.
fOrwaRded…
When times get rough, sometimes text messages from friends and loved ones always lifts us in ways.
I have here collections of messages that may not be that touching to you but it does to me.
From Rashe:
It’s my group of friends who made the story of my life.
In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges,
And enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow casted by my deprivation.
My friends are my oasis, encouraging me to go on.
They are essential to my well being.
Thank you for everything.
I could never afford to lose any of you…
DEFINITELY NOT YOU…
From Ate Pearl:
Just when everything is falling apart,
Look again…
Because maybe,
Just maybe…
Things are falling into their rightful places.
From Paolo:
To see how you survived and how truly happy you have become without them…
– That’s the sweetest revenge to those people who have hurt you.
From Ate Flor:
Moving on is not about “never looking back”…
It’s taking a glance of yesterday
And noticing how much you’ve grown since then.
From Ken:
I was on the stage of moving on…
I was discarding everything that reminds me of the past,
Though it’s heavy in my heart but I need to submit myself to the idea
Of living a separate life apart from the one I love
Days passed and I was able to manage being away,
Living on my own…
But when I saw him again,
I broke down into tears…
And suddenly I realized,
Yes I’ve moved on BUT I GUESS I FORGOT TO LET GO.
From Karen:
I guess there is just a point in my life
Where I just have to accept that not everything I wished
Or hoped for will come true.
Time will come that I just have to gather up
The courage to let go and just entrust everything to GOD,
Knowing HE won’t allow me to be in pain for the sake of hurting
But for the sake of learning.
One day I will truly understand that he knows me more than I know myself,
That even when I feel alone and misunderstand
And even sometimes unloved and used
There is still one person who knows all my flaws yet loves me
Unconditionally like no human can…
I admire people who make these quotes, I know deep in their hearts they may either be in pain, breaking, thankful to their friends. These people who are sincere in thanking their friends for the indefinite support that they showed to them. Thought that these words might be able to compensate the feeling of gratitude.
For those who are in pain, creating such beautiful words/phrases to console the hurts that kept crawling in their hearts. They wanted to reach out for the world by comforting themselves hoping to be convinced that things will be alright.
I am thankful that in ways, you made me feel better with these messages. To my friends who are very much sensitive to what I feel and how different I am. Who tries to understand my craziness despite the annoyance that I inflict. Thank you.
Thank your friends and loved ones. They’re the purest treasure.
Ciao
faCeboOk maNia..
June 18, 2009Took some quizzes and here are the results, kinda amazing and shocking sometime results.
What’s awesome bout life?
Friends: Friends are what make the end of your week so great. It’s rare to have some chill/good homies, but you’re one of the lucky few to have them!
Are you normal?
Pretty Normal: You’re pretty normal. You have some quirks, and tend to go crazy out of nowhere sometimes, but you have the ability to control yourself and not do something too embarrassing, so you’re good. It’s all good.
When will your life change?
5 years: It looks like you’re getting yourself settled-in right now. At this rate, you might not see another large shift for five years (unless something unexpected happens)
Are you Happy?
Not that Happy: You’re not that happy right now, but some people can’t see it very well. But that doesn’t me this is some permanent horror, you’re in a funk right now. In the end, we say no worries, things will always get better.
So far, these are the quizzes I was interested.
Bad isn’t it?
Ciao
this is Serious phySiCs…
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
“You may have graduated but I’ve got many degrees”.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer.
“How much for the beer?” the neutron asks the bartender.
“For you?” replies the bartender,”no charge.”
A hydrogen atom is walking down the street with a friend when he suddenly stops.
The friend says, “What’s wrong?”
The hydrogen atom replys, “I lost my electron!”
The friend says, “Are you sure?”
The hydrogen atom exclaims, “Yes, I’m positive.”
The friend laments, “Oh, I thought you were just being negative again.”
walk With mE…
My hair has always been the most precious possession I have. But I decided to let it go. I began to fall for someone who never spends time with me. Who takes me for granted and never considers the compromises I made just for him. I cut my hair to let him go. The one of the most important thing I let go to stop my foolishness and drop my feelings for him. It has been 2 weeks and still falling for him. I’ve went through a lot of rejections and hurts but still my heart won’t stop.
I saw a movie this morning entitled “Elizabethtown”, a story about a big time failure, oh not a failure a fiasco. He met a girl who accepted that she is just a mere substitute to people. She willingly accompanies someone broken or unloved knowing that she’ll fall for them even knowing that the guy will never feel the same way. Sometimes I always feel that way although there is still half of me that crave and simply wish for a compensation of my feeling. But yet again, they never feel the same.
I want to regret what I did to my hair but then maybe I’ll be able to let go now. Or was it that I cut my hair for nothing since I am still falling and won’t or can’t let go…
